Mud, Mud, I Love Mud
People tell me I shouldn’t sanitize my child, or their belongings. I should avoid anti-bacterial things because they kill the helpful microbes as well as the evil ones.
I’ve been told to breastfeed as long as possible to pass on nutrients, and to take the baby outside, but not to public places filled with hordes of filthy people, like shopping malls.
I should not bathe him daily, lest his skin become irritated, dry up and fall off.
I figure, in order to satisfy these demands, I’ll just roll him around in a pile of dirt every other day, and let him play with roving packs of wild dogs.
In keeping with this theme, I have selected the perfect toys for our baby, courtesy of ThinkGeek.
Giant Plush Microbes!
Ranging from Ebola to the common cold, gangrene, mono, and my personal favorite, mange.
With any luck, the sheer size of these microbes will intimidate any actual microbes, keeping the baby healthier than one of those run-of-the-mill hapless children without cuddly toxic guardians.