Entries Tagged 'World Domination in Everyday Life' ↓

Guys, for $4,250.00, I can purchase my very own complete L-75 package.

According to my awesome new Scandinavian associate, this includes:

• 1.pcs. Line thrower L-75
• 1.pcs. Bucket Holder
• 1.pcs. Fastening Pipe
• 1.pcs. Heaving Line (3mm x 110metres)
• 1.pcs. Throwing Ball
• 1.pcs. Bucket
• 1.pcs. Air Hose Connector
• 1.pcs. Hose Clip
• 1.pcs. Users’ Manual (English)
• 1.pcs. Drawing of Assembly
• 1.pcs. Spare Part List

I am particularly excited about the Drawing of Assembly and the Spare Part List. What spare parts will be included!? Another bucket?

And a “Drawing of Assembly” suggests that not only do they trust me with owning this potentially lethal piece of equipment, they also trust me to put it together.

Oh, my friends, I must immediately begin fundraising for several hundred of these for my fortress of evil. Boiling oil? Gatling guns? No way. It’s the Line thrower L-75 all the way, because not only will we prevail in any firefight, we will also be able to rescue each other on deep sea adventures.

Clear win, either way.

I’ll close today with “Vinarligast!” which, according to the L-75 representatives, is how you say “Best Regards” in either Danish, Finish, or Icelandic. Or, whatever it is you speak on the Faroe Islands, a previously overlooked region which has moved up considerably on my list of places to conquer.

After all, if they can come up with the Line thrower, what else lurks in their nefarious minds?

If you’ve missed the previous post and don’t quite understand the excitement factor here, go back to: Shoot Up Your Ceiling with the L-75 Line Thrower.

VINARLIGAST!

Image credit: Bucket

We’re doing some wiring in our office, and one of the contractors, Daniel, kindly took the time to explain how they got the wires from one side of the office, through the ceiling, and then back down the other side.

Apparently, you can fish it across by opening the ceiling panels every few feet and climbing into the ceiling.

Or, you can use a pole to pull the wire through.

If you are sending the wire through pipes, you can actually suck it through with a vacuum, which is pretty awesome.

But the coolest method of all is that you can shoot the wire to its destination. Yes. I’m thinking harpoon gun, but one that you can legally use at work while pretending to be productive.

Fascinated, I googled a bit, and found some pictures of line throwing guns.

Now, I discovered, not only are there construction line throwers, but you can also get one for the rough seas, which is considerably larger and consequently better.

This one can be used to “bridge chasms and to reach building and cliff tops” as well as for “water rescue, and building and ski slope evacuation.”

Well, that clinched it. I wanted one.

I emailed the manufacturer of the L-75 line thrower, and asked for pricing in USD.

Sadly, no one has responded yet. Should I hear back, I will be sure to continue negotiations and post them here.

Image credit: linegun and harpoon gun.

Do you remember the Baz Luhrmann song “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)?”

It came out around the same time as the Clare Danes/ Leonardo DiCaprio Romeo + Juliet.

I got the song off Napster in college. I’ve kept it in my mp3s out of nostalgia, and moved it from computer to computer over the years.

Anyway, this song came up on my iTunes today. I almost skipped it, because songs with long speaking parts make it hard to concentrate. (I also have this problem with musicals, because I must resist the urge to break into song at work.)

But I thought, it’s been awhile. I’m going to listen to this song and get all uplifted and remember the important things in life. Yeah!

Then it started.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the class of 97.”

Wow, that was 12 years ago, I thought.

Oh my god. That was 12 years ago.

I was in high school 12 years ago.

Logically, I know I graduated in the class of 2000. But 2000 sounds so much more modern than anything in the 1900s. 1997. Good grief.

As an aside, I wonder what I did with that gigantic poster of Leonardo DiCaprio. I’ve got to see if I can find it and sneak it onto Jon’s bathroom wall right before his family comes to visit in May. If anything, it will make for interesting dinner conversation.

Just for fun, read the lyrics here.

Image credit: Romeo

In my February post, How to Fix Foot Cramps, I talked about how eating potassium and standing on cold surfaces were suggested cures for foot cramps. I found that they worked temporarily, but not as a lasting solution.

After visiting my doctor and giving them even more of my blood (sadistic vampires), I learned of a more permanent solution, at least for the kind of foot cramps I was having.

The magical cure is iron pills.

Don’t take them unless directed, because apparently an excess of iron does bad things to your insides. Actually, my anatomy & physiology teacher once told me that an excess of any mineral does bad things to your insides. But if you go to the doctor and they discover that you’re anemic, iron pills are your new best friend. (Sorry, old best friend.)

Anyway, an iron pill a day gets you to the point where you still sometimes feel cramps lurking in your muscles, but instead of seizing up in excruciating pain, you just stretch a little and you’re fine.

As an added bonus, iron pills are small (unlike prenatal vitamins) and don’t taste horrible (unlike Senna). Last bit of medical advice? If you have never eaten these pills, don’t.

Jon, Cass, Jay & I were looking for parking up in Portsmouth this weekend. We found a parking area, but all of the spots had No Parking signs.

For the most part, they also had cars in them.

Here was my thought process:

• It’s not smart to park in designated No Parking spots because your car might get towed.
• It’s unlikely that any authority figures will come out to this remote area.
• Other people are parked in these spots. They’d have to tow a lot of cars.
• We’re not planning on staying very long, so it’s unlikely that someone will check within this time period.
• Okay, let’s park here.

Please note, that train of thought doesn’t include either of these thoughts:

• It is wrong to disobey parking laws.
• If there is a No Parking sign, there must be a good reason for it to be there.

Logically, why is it wrong to disobey parking laws? And there are a lot of signs that don’t really have a good reason to be there. Consider the many intersections in New England that have a yield sign on one corner and a stop sign on another.

At the time, I didn’t stop to justify my decision. I just figured, hey, we probably won’t get caught, and not parking here will be inconvenient for me. In this situation, I didn’t feel the need to be right, I just wanted to do what I wanted and not get punished.

This can’t say good things about my moral compass, or about my reliance on logic to make good decisions.

So, let me ask you:

• How likely are you to do something you know is bad or illegal?
• How much more likely are you to do it if you have no fear of repercussions?
• If other people are also misbehaving, do you feel more comfortable doing so?
• If you can figure out a way to justify your (morally rotten) decision, will you believe that you are in the right?

Jon always takes me to the most romantic places.

Like old, abandoned forts with falling down walls and dangerous metal pieces sticking out.

Although I’m never going to be one of those people who thrills at broken down buildings, this one was actually pretty cool. It was right on the ocean, with a rocky beach and all these trees.

There may also have been zombies.

Check out more pictures in the flickr set.

On Monday, Jon and I woke up and discovered the world was covered in snow.

We decided that, dedicated workers that we were (i.e. not willing to take a vacation day because of a snow storm), we would brave the elements and go in to work.

As you can see, this was a great idea.

We did make it in alive, although I sure had a lot to say about the local people who didn’t show up. If I can drive an hour and a half in a Honda and survive, a couple of miles are not going to kill you.

I was beaten at hardcoreness, though – one of my co-workers walked to work that morning.

See more pictures of Leanne and Jon’s Excellent Adventure here.