According to her debate responses, these are Sarah Palin’s weaknesses.
I understand. Being a beacon must be pure hell on cruises, what with the other ships steering into you all the time.
To be fair, let me add that I was tempted to write all about my new warm fuzzy feeling towards Joe Biden tonight, but then he and I had a slight disagreement about gay marriage. We’re still on speaking terms, mostly because of his flashy grin, sexy squint and ability to string coherent thoughts together, but he’s on probation.
Instead, I’m going to point you towards an excellent blog, I Heard Tell by Molly Schoemann. Tonight, she’s watching the VP debate on the big screen, and has promised to report.
I wait with bated breath to hear Molly’s unbiased (I call it this because I agree with her) view of the debate. Personally, I need a cupcake before I can watch any more of this. Sarah Palin’s idea of logic makes me crave comfort foods.
I used to ask people what they’d do if it was the end of the world.
The popular answer to this scenario was: “I’d spend the time with loved ones, somewhere naturally beautiful and calming, like the beach.”
In retrospect, that’s absurd. If it’s the end of the world, there’s a good chance that A) war broke out and it’s not safe to be outdoors, either from fallout, biological weapon residue or angry people with guns or B) Nature finally reacted to our ceaseless pollution and is going to kill us. If natural beauty is going to kill me (see: tsunami), I don’t want to hang out with it.
I would like to be with my loved ones, though. Unless, they too were attempting to kill me. (see: homicide).
But, if I couldn’t be with my loved ones, I’d pick McCain’s new running mate Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.
Why Sarah Palin?
Well, for one thing, she wants to drill in the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge. I think the actual drilling is a pretty stupid idea, but this proves Gov. Palin at least has access to heavy machinery. Did you see Armageddon? Yeah, one of those drills. We could build an underground fort, thus lengthening our survival by at least 3 days, the maximum time that the human body can survive without water.
Another thing: Gov. Palin is a member of the National Rifle Association. Not only does she fish and hunt (more food for me), but unless she’s a total poser of an NRA member or she hunts with a boomerang, she can shoot a gun. Not that I necessarily support violence, but hey, it’s the end of the world and baby needs lunch.
Finally, if you’re attacked by other survivors who are trying to steal your fort, or your freshly-hunted food supply assuming you have one, it’s good to have basketball point guard “Sarah Barracuda” on your side. In case you aren’t familiar with what a barracuda looks like, here’s a reminder:
I rest my case.
Click here for more terrifying facts about Sarah Palin, potential VP.
Click here to read how Palin balances McCain and here to read about another woman’s perspective on Palin.
Image Credit: barracuda and Armageddon.
