Entries from October 2009 ↓

I’ve always wanted the power to smite people. You throw your arms up in the air, call on the powers of heaven and lightening, and fry the offending party where they stand. Generally, this urge comes on when I’m driving around Salem.

Now I hear that Sony has developed wireless technology that sends electricity through the air.

While my mind is boggled – Flying invisible electricity! Get excited! – I have to ask myself. How is this not dangerous?

I understand that this is not strictly a new concept. My cell phone works, and it’s not plugged in. My laptop can connect to the internet while I wander around the room, carrying it like the surrogate child it is. But electricity just seems more intense.

Perhaps it’s an after-effect of all those Hollywood movies and storm chaser shows. I just imagine sitting calmly on my couch while bolts of lightening zap around my head, charging my electronics and periodically frying my cats.

Not being a scientist or an engineer, I’m just going to assume they’ve got this under control. Because in a related technological breakthrough covered by Apartment Therapy, there are now wireless charging mats available on amazon. And I want one.

Why? Well, practically, I could charge my electronics more efficiently. I’m a big fan of toys and I’m pretty OCD about keeping them charged. In this scenario, I’d come home, empty my pockets of gadgets and gizmos a-plenty, and drop everything on a Powermat. I wouldn’t have to plug anything in, and when I went out again, I’d just scoop everything back up and it would be magically charged.

Aesthetically, this means I could dispense with some of the cords that currently make my home an unsightly nest of plastic and wire. Also, we’re in the process of baby-proofing, and going cordless (even a little) would help a lot.

Considering the future, I am somewhat concerned. In a society with both wireless electricity conduction and tasers, it can’t be long before smiting-in-traffic is a reality.

You’ll be sitting in your vehicle, someone will cut you off, and instead of moving on with your life (or yelling obscenities out the window) you’ll press a button on your Honda Powermat Traffic Enforcer and zap the other driver from 3 car lengths away.

I fear for the world. And I’m also going to advance order any road rage related powermats stat.

Image credit: mat & taser.

Article credit: Thanks to Apartment Therapy, Jon Heller and PC World.

Jon and I were driving to pick up Maddox from daycare when I thought I heard Jon say “eight” and then a moment later, “seven.”

Thinking, gee, this is a weird game, but okay, I’ll play too, I started counting down from six.

From Jon’s confused reaction, I gathered that I had misheard him, and we were not in fact flexing our awesome countdown skills.

Because I figured I might as well finish what I’d started, I kept counting aloud anyway. This had an interesting effect: Jon grew progressively more alarmed with each number. I began to realize that 1) this was fun and 2) he was anticipating horrible acts when I ran out of numbers and 3) that was why it was fun.

Although I don’t want to psychoanalyze what this probably indicates about our marital relationship (if you have a hot line Jon could call, you can tweet him), I am kind of excited about the ramifications of this discovery.

I mean, who ELSE might be susceptible to this? What will happen if I start from a higher number than six? Will the increased anxiety cause people to explode? Most importantly, could you use the Countdown of Doom to take over a small country simply by implying that ominous things will occur if the clock counts down to zero?

If you think about it, LOST used a countdown to add suspense without ever explaining what would happen if the computer stopped counting down. And we all have heard a Mom disciplining her child by saying “don’t make me count to three?” God forbid she reach it, I still don’t know dire things my mother had planned.

So here’s the takeaway. I suggest that today you try counting down in front of someone, calmly but without explanation or pause. Then, let me know what happened. Please do not try this on pregnant women or people with heart conditions.