Once I have completely dominated the world, Sarah will have an international holiday named after her.
This is because I can be bought with excellent baked goods.
Being greeted with a cupcake in the morning is a wonderful thing. Being told you should have TWO cupcakes (one for you and one for your baby) is even better. If the cupcakes have delicious frosting and teeny rainbow surprises inside, it is cause for sheer joy.
Thank you, Sarah. You win at life.
Cupcakes will be distributed on Sarah Wins at Life Day. People with babies get to have two. * Please note, babies must still be inside the womb. Babies in the stomach or outside of the womb do not qualify for a second cupcake.
6 comments ↓
I have decided this is your best post ever :) What date will this holiday fall on and can we make sure it is a paid holiday from work please.
What do you think of the third Tuesday in June? It's nice enough out by then that you can spend the day at the beach, but not so hot that the cupcakes will melt. Also, it is a weekday, which is good because what is the point of having a holiday on the weekend.
While we're conquering the world, why not take the whole week off? :-D
…With additional assorted cupcakes distributed in Sarah's honor. :-P
If you take a whole week off when you've just conquered the world, don't you have to be careful that someone else won't conquer it while you're napping? Although, if they are all lulled into a false sense of camaraderie from the piles of cupcakes, perhaps this would work…
This could be alleviated with the strategic addition of ice cream to the aforementioned cupcake distribution. Think about it – who wants to change a world that promises cupcakes **AND** ice cream? Even tax hikes would go over well with the promise of chocolate sprinkles for the ice cream. (We'll save the whipped cream for radical policy changes and the like.) Food-based PR strategy for aspiring world-dominators! Conquer Ben & Jerry's first!!!!
This may just be the best strategy ever. Okay, Ben & Jerry's is the first to go.
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