In honor of Valentines Day, I’m going to post some nice things about Jon. I figure he’s got to deal with 363 days of attitude (I’m pretty nice to him on his birthday as well) and he deserves some recognition.
If you can’t deal with the soppy romance stuff, here is a nice video for you to watch while the rest of us have a moment:
If you can’t view the video, please click through to the blog.
He’s Pretty Essential
Jon and I have known each other for 8 years this February. We got married 4 1/2 years ago, and I can remember grinning my face off at the altar, feeling completely delighted that I’d get to hang out with Jon for the rest of my life.
He’s a lot like oxygen – you don’t notice how great it is, until you put a plastic bag over your head to see what life is like without it. If you’re curious, go ahead and try it – I recommend bags from a museum gift shop. They are nice and sturdy, and should get the point across fairly quickly.
Oh, You Clever Fellow, You
Jon’s smart without being arrogant about it. I like that he can teach me things, and that when anything electronic around our house breaks, he can usually fix it. Our cable router routinely tries to take days off, and not only does he know how to test it to find out the problem, he also has wired our house up in a frightening fashion, so I can log into the internet from any room. Even the balcony. Even, for the love of god, the bathroom. I know, because in order to ensure the accuracy of this blog post, I just checked.
We Laugh About Bad Things
The first time Jon and I bonded, it was over an extremely politically incorrect SNL skit based on It’s A Wonderful Life. Pretty much, Old Man Potter gets beat down. Everyone else in the room was dead silent, totally aghast that SNL would go so far as to club a handicapped man repeatedly. I love Jon’s sense of humor, which is quirky and witty and more than a little off-kilter. I say this as a compliment, because humor-wise, most people have no idea where I’m coming from half the time, but Jon always gets it.
What? An Entire Culture Based on Bread and Cheese?
Jon has introduced me to all sorts of great things. Prior to meeting him, I didn’t eat Mexican food, onions or fresh Parmesan cheese. I didn’t play video games and thought cell phones and credit cards were the devil. I ended up learning HTML because of him, and this morning he spent a good hour and a half helping me to debug my perl code. I’ve learned how to communicate better (i.e. hiding in a box is not the best way to express dissatisfaction with the world) and I no longer have to label all my computer plugs with masking tape explaining how to reassemble them.
He’s Got Your Back
Finally (because this post is getting pretty lengthy and I’m going to have to put another exploding bear video in, just for some variety), Jon is discerning when it comes to choosing friends and loved ones, but once he does, he will modify his behavior to make these people happy. He will make decisions based on making things easier for those he cares about, and will do just about anything for them.
If you are seeking to get on this very elite list, I would recommend plying Jon with excellent meals, asking him intelligent computer questions and bonding over independent rock bands. It’s okay to forget about holidays and anniversaries, but the birthday is a must – you are in deep trouble if you forget the birthday.
And Now, It’s Your Turn
So, that’s a wrap – those of you with bags over your head should remove them, and anyone watching a loop of the video above can stop now. And don’t get any ideas. Put the plush toy and the shotgun down. That is not the answer.
For those of you who made it all the way through the post, thanks for reading, and please post a comment about what makes your loved one, man crush, spouse or harem great.
I don’t have a problem with protesters. Sure, I get irritated when they block off my parking lot and have to walk over snow banks, but I always figure they have a good reason for being there, and if no one questioned the status quo, nothing would ever change.
Unfortunately, yesterday I ran into the worst protesters ever. They looked organized, and the police were hanging out with them, so they must have had a permit, or whatever you need these days to protest.
But their signs were completely unreadable. They were about the size of 2 regular sheets of paper taped together and they had far too many words. Consequently, the text was pretty small and therefore impossible to read.
Now, these people were on the side of a main road, with 4 lanes across and no room for pedestrians. This road has highway ramps. Their main target had to be people in the vehicles driving by them.
That’s a distance of what, 3 to 10 feet, depending on the lane you were in. The speed limit is about 30mph. What were they thinking? No one could tell what they were protesting. They were in front of a construction site for the new hospital, but were they protesting the hospital? The parking? The choice of construction company?
Epic fail. Get bigger signs, and then I might respect your cause. Until then, I can’t, because I can’t tell what your cause is. As it is, you’re just wasting time and valuable sticks (for your sign posts) that could be used as war pikes.
Also, when I went back after work to take pictures, you had already gone home. I guess that’s okay, because it was 9 hours later, but my pictures are sure not going to be as interesting now. You even took down your giant inflatable rat.
Note: This is a rant. I try not to do many of these, because it’s kind of a negative way of looking at the world, and there are so many fun ways that it’s generally not worth getting all het up about it.
This one came up because my handy gmail notifier just announced a bunch of completely useless emails and my irritation overflowed, causing me to abandon the post I was writing about explosions and to start this one.
Here are 4 of the emails I received. If you were stretching it, you could call them were single-opt in as part of signing up for a service or group. In reality, I didn’t realize I was signing up for any of these lists.
1,000 Ways to Say “I Love You” from Team Gather. I must have signed up for this newsletter when I created my Gather account. It’s a neat service, but not one that I’ve ever really gotten into. The email marketing is sponsored by Bronto, and the unsubscribe page is pretty decent. But the email content isn’t great. I don’t want to heart-ping anyone. I would be alarmed if someone tried to heart-ping me. Leave my heart alone, I need it to process blood so I can eat more cookies.
Own your home sooner with ING DIRECT. Okay, well, I am actually looking at houses. This is a targeted email. A 5% rate is pretty good. But, I won’t go with you because I’ve been trying to cancel my bank account with you for about a year without success. Also, your unsubscribe landing page indicates it will take 5 days to unsubscribe, which is absurd, as this should be an instant process with any competent email list hosting service.
LinkedIn News: The Next Phase of Social Business Networking is Here! – Press Releases. The content of this email says, “The Next Phase of Social Business Networking is Here! A terrific article generously shared by Victoria, a Facebook “friend”.” First off, thank you for sharing this article. But I do not know you through Facebook, and just because I am connected to you on LinkedIn doesn’t mean I have opted-in to receive mass emails from you. Since we are connected on LinkedIn, and I don’t want to disconnect with you because I’ve heard rumors that it negatively affects your profile, I have no way to delete this email or to unsubscribe from this list.
Don’t forget to send Valentine’s Day eCards from Plaxo. Another service that includes an email newsletter in their profile sign-up process. Not a bad idea, and worthwhile when a service has really interesting content to offer. What bugs me is that I have unsubscribed to the system messages from Plaxo, but still receive random emails like this one. I have opted out of this list. Please respect that.
I did also receive 1 personal email, which cheered me up. Dave, this is for you, and yes, I can totally see your laptop cord rocking out to this:
Please click through to the blog if you are unable to view the video.
This is a practical post. Even world dominatrices get foot cramps.
I don’t know if it’s the pregnancy or something else, like dehydration or a potassium deficiency as suggested here, but it sucks and it hurts and it needs to be stopped.
The fastest way I’ve found to alleviate the pain is to stand on an icepack. (Don’t put all your weight on it, or you might break it.) I keep my sock on because otherwise it’s too cold for comfort. Standing with my foot flat against the floor also helps, bonus if it’s cold tile.
I like to stand on our big red apple-shaped icepack, because in addition to helping my foot, it cheers me up. You can’t be depressed when you’re standing on a big red apple, even if you’re in serious pain.
Some sites suggest pulling your toes back toward your knees. Rubbing it or flexing it makes it worse for me, but you might be a fan of intense, increased pain, so I thought I’d mention it.
For a more lasting solution, a lot of online sources suggest eating bananas. (Also here.) I’ve been craving them lately, so it’s possible this is a potassium-related pregnancy thing.
Other people say you should use quinine or arnica. I had a massage teacher who swore by arnica as a panacea for muscle pain, but I haven’t personally used it except for during routine massages (back when I did that), not for any specific pain relief.
I’m not a doctor, so if your symptoms persist, please call one. This post is more for the people who Google at 3am because their loved ones are groaning in pain and they need a quick fix.
Since I’m just about 6 months pregnant (and consequently very agile), and Jon and I hate the outdoors, we went for a nature walk in the icy, snowy woods.
We were looking for some eagles Jon had read about. Jon wanted to try out his new camera, and I wanted to dip them in ketchup and consume them.
We compromised by taking some pictures and then going to The Black Cow in Newburyport, where a hawk, angered by my desire to eat his compatriots, repeatedly flew into the window glass.
Despite the kamikaze birds, it was actually a pretty neat field trip. Wandering around a pile of cattails and watching the ice on the river was peaceful, and a nice break from our usual routine.
In another few months, we’ll still be able to do things like this, but we’ll have a whole lot more stuff to carry, so we’re enjoying our days of traveling light while we have them.
Although, carrying a baby marsupial-style can’t be much more strenuous than carrying one internally. He’ll be bigger, sure, but he won’t be able to kick my esophagus.
I like to stand on our big red apple-shaped icepack, because in addition to helping my foot, it cheers me up. You can’t be depressed when you’re standing on a big red apple, even if you’re in serious pain. 
