Entries from January 2009 ↓

You cannot take over the world without the help of other people. Unless, of course, you have an army of robots, zombies or indentured servants and you don’t count them as people.

With that in mind, I’m going to take a page from Leo Bottary’s blog, Client Services Insights, and recognize January’s contributors to the Guide to World Domination.

Thank you for being part of the conversation.

Din, Rebecca, Peter R. Wood, Chris C., Rachel, Molly, Jon, Chris, Joe Stanganelli, Cass, Sarah, Caydie Heller, Donn, Danielle, Johanna, and RobCottingham.

This month on AIM Coho, Salmon & Trout Bots:

Tiffany, Krista & justusthane.

Image credit: robots

It’s a pretty beautiful sight. No alternations in Photoshop, other than resizing it.

Unfortunately, I was trying to see through this image, in order to view the highway that we were driving on.

Frozen windshield wipers + sun = great aesthetic moment, horrible visibility.

For more pictures of my icy day (including the parking lot at work) check out today’s flickr set.

When I was a kid, my parents let me build tents in my room all the time. They were pretty tolerant – I’d usually leave the tent up for months.

Also – you know those paper chains people make out of construction paper? I made hundreds of construction paper rings and stapled them together like a honeycomb.

Then, I built off the honeycomb shape until I had this huge structure and it was impossible to navigate through my bedroom without diving in and out of massive paper tunnels.

Yep, they were pretty tolerant.

Growing up didn’t help this habit at all. I went to school for fine art, which means you still get to play with paper and staples, you just have to call it installation art or sculpture.

Senior year, I raided a recycling center and crocheted miles of computer wires together to make a huge web in the basement of one of the buildings on campus.

They also let me string dozens of threads from the floor to the ceiling. Sometimes art is just OCD at its finest.

Next project? Do something to improve my cubicle at work.

I’ve thought about building a roof for it. Or setting up a second story with a green plastic slide. They’re doing construction in my building, so there are plenty of materials lying around.

But this person’s idea is way better. I’m not sure how management will feel about it, but I figure if I get in early enough, it will just be too late.

Image Credit: original honeycomb image, Cubicle Castle

Ever been halfway through a shower when you suddenly realize that there’s either shampoo or conditioner in your hair, but you have absolutely no idea which one?

It’s the habitual actions that get you. You can make a pretty good guess of what you were last doing, since the only bottles you have in the shower with you are shampoo, conditioner and cucumber melon bubble bath, but you don’t know for sure.

Strangely, if you’d just carried on thinking of other things, you probably would have made it through the task just fine – part of you is paying attention to what you’re doing. This is fortunate, because the only other objects in my shower are soap and razors. (I have 3, because I keep buying disposables and forgetting to throw them out.)

Anyway, some useful part of my mind is preventing me from picking up the razors instead of the shampoo. So far.

This is also why I don’t like to drive. Do you remember SAT percentiles? When Jon and I are in a car and he is driving, we are in the 95th percentile, and are better drivers than 95% of the drivers on the road.

When I am driving, the number drops rather drastically, way down past the “unfortunate” level. When I’m in a car, I like to let my mind wander while I watch the other cars and belt out the lyrics to obscure show tunes.

If I drive the same route on a daily basis, I eventually stop noticing where I’m going until I’ve arrived. This is somewhat disturbing – how many other people on the road are not paying 100% attention?

Even more disturbing – why is autopilot called autopilot? Please tell me that the people flying my commercial flights are not so distracted that they had to name a state of mind after it. Or that the navigational device was created because we as a species lack the attention span to handle a two hour flight to Tampa.

I made some new friends at Bob’s Store today. As you can see, we have a lot in common.

That’s Headless Mike on the left, and Headless Barry on the right. Decapitated Stan is somewhat cut off (no pun intended), and that’s Guillotine Gus with the green polo in the back.

While we were taking pictures, people kept coming up to us acting all confused. I think they secretly wanted to join our gang, but weren’t sure of the requirements. A gang that cuts off your head as part of the initiation is kind of hardcore, and they probably didn’t want to offend.

Anyway, after some debate, I left my gang at Bob’s.  Management says they’re going to give us 50-75% off of selected merchandise (just see their signs) in exchange for protection. This is pretty fair, and also, none of the guys technically owned the clothes they were wearing, so legally, they needed to remain in the store.

Our gang sign might need a little work, but we color-coordinate pretty well, and I think we’ve got our intimidating gang stance down.

Izod, represent.

Oh, Rob Cottingham, you card.

I know, I know. I appreciate that the person who put up the sign was just saving people the pain of chunks of ice falling on their heads. There are also a fair amount of lawyers in the building, so the landlord was probably just being safe.

But seriously. This sign is awesome.

“Falling ice! Use other exits!”

How bootleg is that?  Don’t go out this door!  You might be impaled by a 3′ icicle.  There is nothing we can do. Don’t even try. Abandon hope, ye who exit here.

I’ve got to start putting random signs on things.

On my cube wall (people accidentally walk into the corner a lot): “Please stop walking into me, it hurts.”

On windows: “Don’t do it, you have so much to live for.”

In the bathroom: “Watch for Pumas.”

What would you put anonymous signs on?  Without being terribly profane or unkind, what would you say?