Entries from December 2008 ↓

This is a T-shirt.

Heh heh heh.

Threadless.com, you’re so wrong, but I cannot help giggling anyway.

Everyone’s a little sugared out from the holidays. At my work, they’ve started bringing in leftover treats to share.

Now, I’m okay with this, because for me, there’s really no such thing as being sugared out. The whole point of having sugar is so you can get up enough energy to seek and consume MORE sugar. This is why the concept of Halloween is such a success.

Additionally, my baby book says that this week, I should start eating more fats. And even though they don’t exactly mean sugar-fats, they mean avocados and olive oil and nuts, this is a god-given opportunity to misunderstand.

Unfortunately (or fortunately?) my child is already smarter than its mother. And its brain’s not even fully formed yet, which does not bode well for the teenage years.

It’s figured out how to manipulate my brain and stomach so I will crave these silly things called “fruits” or “vegetables.” Also, all sorts of meats, which is weird, because the only meat I’ve eaten for years is beef. (I’m a vegetarian with an incurable taste for cow.)

So, I decided to try to give in to these cravings, and eat better for the baby. I’ve been cooking normal people meals (i.e. casseroles and pastas instead of cereal) and making adorably balanced lunches with nuked deli meat sandwiches, fruit and goldfish crackers.

We did not account for the pile of sparkly bell cookies in the break room.

They have red sparkles, and they are shaped like cunning little bells (to quote Brittany from the cartoon Daria, “You can almost hear them riiiiinging!”).

I know they’ll probably just taste like gritty sugar cookie, but MAN do they look fun to eat. I need to find out if they ARE fun to eat.

Does this ever happen to you?

Image credit: Nafta foods

I’ve never liked the Alien movies.

Disregarding the 30 or 40 billion of you who are offended now, including Jon, let me explain why.

I read books and watch movies for escapism. I like to be totally immersed in another world, to the point where Jon knows he’s got to worry when I’m reading heavy material on pleasant topics like divorce, concentration camps, or growing up in severe poverty.

(By the way, this has only gotten more fun since the pregnancy hormones have kicked in.)

So, anyway, I don’t want to watch a movie where you’re in a constant state of suspense and are unsure that the main characters (who are pretty much your best friends now, because you’ve gotten an intimate portrait of their lives and souls and have learned to care about them in the last 60 minutes or so) will live or die. Or, have alien beings rupture their chest cavities as they claw their way out of their human incubation chambers.

But lately, I’ve started to relate to these movies.

Why?

Because, friends and neighbors, Baby Beast has started moving. It likes to hop up and down, and roll around on the left side of my stomach, and generally poke my bladder a whole lot. Instead of filling me with terror and fear, this is kind of nice, except for the bladder part.

And while I do share some of the negative anticipation (it’s got to come out eventually, and it’s not going to be pleasant, regardless of whether it’s an alien or a fetus) the pot of gold at the end of MY rainbow is significantly better than Executive Officer Kane’s.

To read about more interesting pregnancy experiences, check out The Sprout. Good luck, Sara & Abby, we’re rooting for you over here!

To whomever found my blog using the Google search “world dominion theme party.”

Who are you, and when is this party going to occur.

Chris Brogan is holding a marketing bootcamp event called “The Down and Dirty,” including practical instructions on how to set up a blog, optimize it, build links and create company profiles.

I’m amazed by this because it shows me the speed that people are learning about social media. Initial social media speaking events all seemed to revolve around interesting but more introductory topics like “What is LinkedIn?” and “The different types of social media sites.”

But now, we have the option to go to an event that will give us the tech side of registering your blog on Technorati or setting up WordPress. Comments on the post discussing the agenda for this event suggest also including advice on metrics, time management and integration with other social media platforms. When did we get so sophisticated? That’s pretty awesome.

I personally keep my tech guy chained up in my loft so he can handle this sort of thing when I get stuck. I don’t use actual chains, just a World of Warcraft account. It’s worked so far, but for those of you without this option (for some reason, companies have trouble providing MMORPG accounts for their employees), I’d suggest you check this out.

My only caution is to be aware of the events scheduled and the pace of the sessions. If you’re someone who is looking for a basic intro to social media, this might not be for you – do some research and find out before signing up. Likewise, if you’re an SEO expert or programmer, this might not be new enough for you.

For anyone in between, especially those of you at companies who are considering implementing social media into your marketing programs, give it a look. Now’s a good time to ask questions and suggest topics – good social media experts are pretty engaged with their communities, and, like Chris, often welcome feedback.

Since it’s $100 or so a month to rent a garage space at my apartment complex, we park our cars outside all year long. In the winter, this means the usual New England ice-scraping before work.

This morning, for the first time of the season, my car had about 3 inches of snow on it. I considered being grumpy about this, but discarded that idea, because grumpiness requires lots of energy to be done correctly, and I hadn’t had any coffee yet.

Instead, I let Jon get into the car. Usually I pull the “Oh, honey, I’m pregnant, snow will kill me” routine, which works, because who wants to be responsible for killing a pregnant lady because they are too lazy to do some minor task? But today, I gave him a break and started wiping off the car.

Don’t tell anyone, but this is actually pretty fun. As long as it’s not water-soaked snow that is cold and miserable, you essentially get to play with snow for 10 minutes. You’re not sitting in a freezing car waiting for it to warm up, and you get to throw stuff around without hurting anybody and therefore avoiding those inevitable assault charges.

Also, today I found my fuzzy red earmuffs, which meant my head didn’t hurt because of the cold AND looked pleasantly stylish and bright. There are few situations that earmuffs don’t improve, those being weddings and strip shows. Not only do they muffle sound, but they serve a function and keep your ears warm.

Plus, the snow was relatively light, with no ice coating the windows underneath, and very little actual effort was required. And, I didn’t step in any of those nasty hidden snow-covered puddles that go through to your socks. (I haven’t had winter boots for years, which is sad, but not life-threatening.)

The only negative to sweeping snow off your car in a crazed frenzy is that sometimes you end up wearing a lot of it and you don’t have time to change. This can be avoided by brisk hopping up and down and much flailing of arms, which only adds to the enjoyment of the experience. Don’t forget to do this, or you’ll be soggy all day and no one will like you.

Unless, however you have snazzy red earmuffs, in which case, you’re gold.

Jon and I work less than a mile apart from each other, so we carpool.

Most of our drive is on the highway which I am leery of, because all the other drivers constantly feel the need to show me up by switching lanes and merging.

But Jon usually drives, while I kick around my purse on the floor and wish I’d remembered to put it in the back seat. So, this is not an issue.

The really fun part doesn’t start until we get to Jon’s work and I drop him off. Between his work and mine (and remember, this is just under a mile) there are 6 traffic lights. Yes, that is correct. 6.

Each Light is a Treasure

I turn left at the first one, so I usually wait through one light. The next one takes longer, because it gets backed up to just beyond where I made my left turn. It’s okay, though, because I should have to sit through this one as a perpetual reminder of back when it was a pedestrian-only light, and I was surprised one morning when a pedestrian used it, and almost ran her over in front of a policeman.

After that, I go over a bridge, and wait at another light. I don’t ever actually go through this light, but I need to turn right, and there’s no right turn only lane (I mean, it’s a bridge, there’s not that much space) so I usually wait through it once or twice.

Then, I drive about a block, and wait through another light at a T intersection. They just added this one.

After turning right, I drive 2 blocks and wait in another intersection. This one has the added fun of commuter pedestrians, who generally cross with the walk light, but sometimes get frisky and decide it’s a good idea to face down oncoming traffic.

Finally, I reach the last light. I like this light, because when I leave work, it enables me to turn left. I will call this light “Harry.”

This is Divine Justice

I’m not sure why there are so many lights in this stretch. I like to think it is God, challenging me to rise above my base urges of screaming out the window at fellow drivers. It is a repeated challenge in my life because I so often fail at it.

They are contemplating adding a 7th light, after the one where I almost killed that girl and before the one on the bridge. I’m not upset, because it gives me a reasonable excuse to snap and finally carry out that jihad I’ve been contemplating.

Have Some Divine Justice Back

Hear that, city planners? Their blood will be on your hands. ON YOUR HANDS I SAY.

Image credit: traffic lights.