Reasons to Vote Today
- Free Ben & Jerry’s ice cream (thanks to Kahn for the heads up)
- Free Starbucks coffee (thanks to the guys on 114 for making mine iced)
- Participating in the decision-making of your country (If you don’t show up, don’t harrumph about it, you had your chance.)
Only Acceptable Reasons Not To Vote
- You are frequently mauled by irate, unpatriotic bears, and have consequently lost faith in the democratic system
- You are severely allergic to elementary school children, and cannot enter the polling place lest you die
- You are deceased and considered ineligible
What Will the Voting Bring?
- The first African-American president in the United States of America
- Blatant cheating followed by completely ineffectual attempts to correct it
- A landslide victory for the Green-Rainbow Party followed by the realization that there are more than two valid political parties
And You?
Go out on a line here, and make a prediction. I won’t hold you to it.
Unless you are right. Then you will be my new authority on all things psychic, and I will get you your very own silverback gorilla (I know a guy), which you will have to hide from PETA because they may or may not be endangered.
