Top 10 Reasons Why Leanne Is Old

Michael Ian Black’s post Lake Compounce talks about his reluctance to ride a roller coaster with his son. He makes it through twice, but declines a third round, because, as he says, “[I]f we ride it again, Daddy is going to die.”

First I thought, hahaha, Michael Ian Black, you’re old. Then I realized, oh blast, I’m old.

So, here are the Top 10 Reason Why Leanne Is Old:

1. I only go to concerts with seats. None of this ridiculous stand for 3 hours business. That’s for you crazy leaping fan people.
2. I know who Matt Lauer is. I watch him in the mornings and wish he did the “where in the world” segment more often.
3. I’ve reached the age where I talk about my school years with nostalgia. Don’t believe me? Just get me started on the Snap Bracelet, the Trapper Keeper and the New Kids on the Block.
4. I remember when libraries didn’t have computer records. I also had a set of encyclopedias, because there was no internet.
5. I took the SATs when the highest score you could get was 1600.
6. I’m no longer the youngest person in my office. Not even close - I think 6th? 7th?
7. Thinking about having children makes me feel warm and fuzzy, rather than nauseated.
8. I carry around a bag of non-recreational drugs, in case of headaches, muscle spasms, allergy attack, stomach pain or mortal injury. This isn’t hypochondria, I just like to be prepared.
9. I’m learning to say no to people without guilt, and I’m learning to forgive myself for the fact that sometimes, I just do dumb things.
10. I am more honest with myself.

Being older’s not the worst thing in the world - there are definite compensations. For one, a facial blemish is no longer directly linked to the imminent destruction of the world. For another, I’m grateful for the time I’ve spent in the company of good people. I’d never want to go back in time and give that up.

Also, imagine having to relearn everything you’ve learned up until now. It would take me years to re-perfect the ability to lift just one eyebrow.

How about you? What makes you feel old, even if you’re not? Who or what makes growing older worthwhile for you? On that note…

Listen up everybody if you wanna take a chance: