The Best Kind of Visitors

I like to sit in our balcony garden, because it’s good exercise and you meet nice people.

Let me explain. One of my massage therapist instructors once told me a story about her mother needing an oxygen machine for a brief period of time. After the time was up, her mother held on to it, because she’d discovered the wonderful fact that - if she took frequent hits of O2 - she no longer needed to exercise to stay in shape.

I forget why this works, and I don’t recommend it (although I’d certainly try it), but I hope you can see what I’m getting at: Lots of Plants = Lots of Oxygen = so long, elliptical machine, don’t forget to write.

Anyway, while I was engaging in my morning calisthenics (sipping iced tea and rereading A Prayer for Owen Meany), I had some visitors. They were the best kind - they didn’t require small talk and they made themselves right at home, but not so much at home that they ate any of my candy. I’m actually fueled by a combination of solar power and candy, which is why I have dark hair (built in solar panel) and don’t like to share my sugar supply (GTFO). These visitors were also great because although I’m on the third floor, I didn’t have to let them in - most of them just flew themselves up.

No, all that oxygen isn’t getting to me. Nor was I visited by aliens, angels, or pilots with excruciatingly exact landing skills. (Our balcony is a good size, but as a landing field, it leaves much to be desired.)

My first visitor was a ladybug. You remember, we’ve talked about ladybugs. They are cute little aphid-eating destroyers, and I recommend them as mercenaries. It was delightful to see one. If those pestilential aphids ever come back, they’re lunch meat. She’s free to invite her friends as well, but hopefully they won’t all move in, as ladybugs like to winter indoors.

Second, a pair of dragonflies dropped by. One was a beautiful flaming red, and I regret that I didn’t get a picture of it. Dragonflies are fast. The other was green, and didn’t stick around very long either (see blurry photo to the left.)

I suggest using dragonflies like they do in the Golden Compass series - namely, as steeds for your army of (very) small independent assassins - it worked pretty well in the books, and they’ve got to be cheaper to maintain than horses or SUVs.

Finally, my cats decided to sack out in the sunshine. No one can relax like a cat. I’m beginning to suspect that mine don’t even have bones.

Now that I’ve worked out (boy, am I beat), I think I’ll go get some work done (i.e. see how close to my cats’ relaxation poses I can get without spraining anything). Hope that you all enjoy the rest of your Sunday, and please feel free to drop by if you have wings, your own candy, and/or an appetite for garden pests.

Barring that, shoot me an email or post a comment letting me know what you’re doing with your weekend, or how I’ve totally wrecked your motivation to work out and replaced it with a compulsion to garden.