580ERV

Driver 580ERV, I hate you.

My husband and I were driving home from work today when we noticed that the car to our left (pictured above) was about to drive into the side of our car.

Now, it might just be me, but as far as I know, you can’t change lanes if there’s a car parallel to you in the lane you want to be in. This is not manners, road rules, or even common sense. This is a law of physics - matter cannot occupy the same physical space as other matter.

So, needless to say, we were slightly alarmed. The driver kept coming closer and closer to our car, presumably in order to avoid being stuck in a left-turn-only lane.

Here were her options:

1. Brake, and wait for a clear spot.
2. Turn left, then retrace your steps or find another route.
3. Keep driving into the car beside you. It will dematerialize if you wish upon a star.

You can guess which one old 580ERV chose.

As my friend Kate likes to say, “Make a better choice.”

We were moving slowly enough to avoid a crash, and we ended up braking and letting her in. After all, we weren’t sure if she had just accidentally gotten into the wrong lane in the first place. This happens to everyone. The trouble is, in that particular spot, people often use that lane to bypass everyone else and then cut back in, so it’s hard to tell.

So, Tell Me About Your Sense of Fair Play:

• Is is okay for people like Illustrious Driver 580ERV to do this if they are just accidentally in the wrong lane and never intended to cut in line?
• Is all fair in love, war & traffic - if people can get into the lane, they should do it, and if you don’t like it, stay away from cars.
• Or, should we have followed her home, waited until she slept, broken into her car, and filled it with the slain bodies of sea crabs, so it had a nice, fresh aroma when she got up to go to work?

What does your sense of fair play say? What do you do when you’re faced with the hazards of driving with bad drivers? And, in a misguided attempt to channel all your driving rage ever in one vengeful act, do you know where I can get a couple hundred sea crabs?

The crabs and I will find you.