Pirates of the Business World

I just finished watching Pirates of Silicon Valley, described by Wikipedia as: “a 1999 film based on the book Fire in the Valley: The Making of The Personal Computer by Paul Freiberger and Michael Swaine…which documents the rise of the home computer…through the rivalry between Apple Computer and Microsoft.”

It reminded me of Monty Python’s Corporate Takeover skit from The Meaning of Life.

Monty Python’s The Permanent Assurance Company Part 1:

Monty Python’s The Permanent Assurance Company Part 2:

Part 2 is worth watching solely for the horrifically bad puns in the song at the end.

Anyway, this is what I’ve learned tonight. Bonus points if you can guess which movie each item is from.

1. Theft and piracy are time-honored traditions in the business world.
2. To be successful, you should have a company culture. You should choose one that fosters hatred between project teams and encourages resolution through crazy bar fights.
3. Loyal friends quit and become teachers rather than watch you plummet down a spiral of self-destruction. So, if your friends start abandoning you, you’re on your way to being like (the fictitious) Steve Jobs!
4. Forcing your Evil Corporate Overlords to walk the plank is permissible.
5. It is acceptable to fling frisbees at your employees if you first provide them with champagne.
6. A pirate flag doesn’t always mean success, but it looks good stuck to the front of your company.
7. The very best logos are the ones that can be replicated in metal, hung on the wall, then broken apart and distributed as weapons in times of extreme need.