Secret Weapons – Be On Your Guard

There’s a rumor going around my office that the paper cutter would make a pretty good weapon. In the immortal words of Montell Jordan, This is How We Do it:

1. Put it on the floor
2. Hold onto the handle
3. Step on the square part while yanking upwards

Try to manage this without slicing off your feet, or vital parts of the person in the cube next to you, who leans in to find out what you’re doing. Note: I do not recommend this for people who would like to keep their jobs.

The co-worker who suggested this is not a violent person. She does not suffer from madness, or rage black-outs. She has just found her perfect weapon, while also rendering a standard office tool multifunctional. That’s talent.

So, what does this tell us?

Your weapon does not need to be a thousand dollar sword, hand-crafted and imported. It does not have to be shiny, sharp, or even tangible. Luke Skywalker used the Force – although, admittedly, he also had a light-saber.

My husband claims I have an eyebrow raise that lacerates. Blunt objects, motor cars, flower pots on the head, you name it, someone will try it. People use manipulation, Gatling guns, even hordes of adorable puppies. (Oh, it’s been done.)

With this in mind, I’d like to close with words of wisdom from an old acquaintance, a level 70 Tauren Hunter who went by the cheerful name of “Desolator:”